How To Rule The World And Irritate People
by Silence-Speaker
Summary: Coulson knows not to forget that Tony Stark was a CEO of his weapons manufacturing company before he could legally drink. Basically an A/O/B verse where betas are running the show.


A/O/B verse.

Clint and Tony roll their eyes. Or Betas rule the world. Or Coulson knows not to forget that Tony Stark was a CEO of his weapons manufacturing company before he could legally drink.

Steve=A, Thor=A, Natasha=A, Tony=B, Clint=B, Bruce=B/O, Maria=B, Coulson=B, Fury=A?, Gregson=O, Fielding=0, Cooper=A.

How to rule the world and irritate people.

Disclaimer.

Written simply because I got annoyed at the stories in A/O/B verse that concentrate solely on the genetic differences. Don't get me wrong, I like those stories but I wanted one without so much focus on genitalia.

#

It was traditional for Alphas to take up the mantel of leader. To issue orders, to work in charge, to rule.

You didn't get anyone but an Alpha as a king, or president or government officials.

Well, not until the last century anyway.

It was the same with Omegas but in reverse. Omegas were to stay at home, to bring up the family, to look after the Alpha. A homemaker.

That's what all those old films portrayed and history agreed with.

It was rather a shame really, Phil mused, considering the fact that Alphas and Omegas by dint of their biology were more unstable than the majority of Betas.

He looked over the group bristling in the board room and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Another growl reverberated through the room and Agent Fielding got further into Agent Cooper's face as they argued at top volume their points lost to incoherency.

Steve, Thor and Fury were no better all shouting over each other. And from what he could see Natasha was very close to joining in no matter her usual cool, collected demeanour.

Bruce was standing in the corner very carefully cleaning his glasses, the only sign of his own impending ire in the slight shaking of his hands.

He trusted Bruce to have a lid on it. (Maybe the mix of Dr. Banner's biology helped him keep his head; the Hulk was a different gender to the man after all.)

Clint was taking pot shots at the ceiling using a rubber band and a set of pencils, managing to fire them with enough velocity that the pencils jammed far enough into the ceiling not to fall back down.

It seemed Clint was forming a pattern out of the stuck pencils, and really, were they in grade school?

Clint had argued his point but given up when the others just went round in circles, lost to the pheromones that ruled them, he gave up and waited for it to tide over.

Tony hadn't even bothered to pretend he was listening from the start. He'd complained about the meeting with the type of petulance a grown man should not have been able to pull off. He was tapping obliviously away at his phone; well, not so obliviously he couldn't crack a smile at Clint's 'artwork'.

Phil saw his point though, a meeting now was a lit match to a powder keg and as self absorbed as Tony could be at times he certainly wouldn't have missed the signs. And as was now evident it certainly was a waste of time now.

The others though...well, lost cause.

Maria stepped over beside him.

"The Wisconsin files completed?" She asked quietly, ignoring the ongoing argument with practised ease. He looked at her steadily.

"Of course."

She didn't need to ask and she knew that. Which meant she was going to suggest action 39B clause CFK any time now.

The argument reached fever pitch.

"You want to press the big red button or shall I?" Maria asked dryly. There was a set of protocols in SHIELD (lots and _lots_ of protocols in fact), and there was definitely one or two to diffuse an argument that had descended into well, _this_.

He wrinkled his nose. The smell afterwards was atrocious.

Protocol 39B clause CFK released a specific gas through the vents, a gas that was pungent enough to clear the pheromone haze from any Alpha or Omega caught up in an argument or...other things. Technically then the Alphas and Omegas caught up the argument should come to their senses.

(Of course, this didn't always work like intended and sometimes the argument carried on because the participants believed in what they were arguing about and the pheromones had only exacerbated it not completely blown it out of proportion.)

It worked most of the time. (Mainly because only select few could authorise the protocol and they were all good judges of the situation.) Unfortunately the side effect was that the Helicarrier (or base) stank to high heavens for the next week.

He had taken to carrying round a small pack of nose plugs when at work.

He surveyed the board room where they were supposed to be discussing strategy and giving a mission report.

Granted, having such a meeting when tempers were frayed from general exhaustion and healing injuries was not a good idea but they had needed the information quickly.

Well, that plan was down the spout now. Even once the protocol was implemented it wasn't a good idea to continue the debate directly afterwards.

(Plus the last mission had necessitated Steve, Clint and Tony all visiting the medic bay, they needed to rest their injuries; not aggravate them further. And that wasn't even mentioning the fact that everyone in this room had been run ragged the past three days, barely catching cat naps here and there.)

He sighed and got out his box of nose plugs. He offered her a set before putting on his own. He chucked one at Clint getting a small nod of thanks and one at Tony who glanced up from his phone and frowned.

"I'll do the honours." He murmured.

But before he could finish pushing in the key code to unlock the protocol a loud klaxon rang out. He cursed and nearly clapped his hands over his ears in direct violation of his training.

Maria winced beside him. Where on earth had that awful sound come from?

Oh, of course.

Tony Stark tucked his phone away, not seeming to have reacted to the sound ( _he_ had caused) at all.

It was almost eerie how abruptly silence fell over the room.

He slowly removed his nose plug and waited to see what would happen next now that Tony had drawn all the attention over to himself, all the attention from Alphas and Omegas pumped full of testosterone.

"So, you all done throwing a tantrum now?" Tony asked, voice cutting through the air whip sharp. Clint slowly straightened in his chair.

Agent Cooper flushed in a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

"Because I've seen two year olds with better control over themselves."

Maria beside him slowly put away her phone which she had been using to set off the protocol.

"You'd know all about throwing a tantrum, Stark." Fury bit out but he could see the slow swim to the surface in Fury's eyes. For an Alpha Fury had excellent control (usually) and he didn't doubt that soon enough the director would be back to normal.

Tony smiled thinly; his dark eyes were far too sharp for it to be a warm smile.

"Well, now you've all stopped beating on your chests perhaps we could wrap up this meeting. I'm a very busy man as you all know and time is wasting." Tony drawled, glancing at them all with a slow blink. Tony tilted back in his chair, legs kicked out in a lazy sprawl.

Now everyone looked irritated. He wondered if they might have to initiate the protocol anyway, preferably in time to prevent Tony Stark's murder.

(It would probably say on his tomb stone 'Tony Stark, he annoyed people to death'.)

"We're all busy, Stark, I apologise if we've kept you from your all important playtime." Fury rolled his eyes.

Tony's eyes gleamed.

"Ah, yes, we are all busy aren't we?" Tony said with false cheer, fingers tapping against his knee as he sat up. "That's why you just spent the last forty-five minutes puffing your chest and proclaiming you were the prettiest princess in the land."

Fury's eye twitched.

Tony was either very brave, very stupid or very flippant with his continued survival. Pissing off a group of Alphas and Omegas, mere seconds after an interrupted fight was not advised. Ever.

History showed how utterly suicidal it was to even try.

So of course Tony Stark was putting himself in the path of five murderously angry Alphas and three rage filled Omegas all producing enough pheromones to stink out the entire Helicarrier for months.

He wondered if the blood stains would be too difficult to remove from the floor.

Tony, of course, looked practically smug at the attention.

"As I mentioned before, everyone in here is a very busy bee and have far better things to get on with."

Steve made to speak but Tony waved a hand. Steve shut his mouth with a sharp click.

Phil blinked, this was...unexpected.

"I light of that, me and Brucie-pie will put our sexy brains together to pin point the location of the ring of doom – and I am actually amazed I can say that seriously, did they rip off Tolkien's Lord of the Rings? – Steve and Maria are going to secure the weapons stash along with Thor so he can tell you two the best way to keep Asguardian weapons without activating them. Legolas and Fury go over the plan they will come up with. Kidney stealer will kindly infiltrate the building the moment we get a lock on the cache and Agent will be on comms, coordinating the groups. Capiche?"

Tony glanced round the room expectantly.

A couple of people gave grudging nods at the orders thinly disguised as a request. Phil relaxed his hand on his tazer.

"Wow, well I have used up my maturity quota for the next ten years or so. Tell Pepper, she'll be so proud." Tony grinned, dragging Banner out of the room with him.

A beat of silence followed.

"Man, you guys got _schooled_ by _Tony_ _Stark_." Clint said, gleefully.

Phil was amused to note that there were more than a few people who looked shamefaced at that.

Fury sighed and glanced heavenward. Before a frown crossed his face.

"Barton..." He growled out, glaring at the pattern of pencils stuck in the ceiling.

Clint grinned sunnily. Phil made a mental note to not let Clint and Tony be alone in the same room. Ever.

"Isn't that a little childish?" Steve asked, a twitch to his lips.

"Considering the picture, I'd say it was a little adult, personally." Clint said with a wink as he made himself scarce.

Phil glanced around the room, to where everybody was standing still like someone at one point might explain to them the events of the past three minutes.

"Well," Phil said mildly, interrupting the silence, "shall we get to work?" He asked with an eyebrow raised pointedly.

Maria caught his eye as everyone hurried to and shot him a grin so fleeting Phil was almost sure he imagined it.


End file.
